After subjecting the Grumpy Old Man to Kanye’s new album, it seemed only right to torture him with Magna Carta next.
I shouldn’t write when I’m in a bad mood already. It just isn’t conducive to producing an open minded review for you people to read.
Unfortunately listening to Jay Z… hang on, where is the hyphen gone? Stop messing with your name you clown… anyhow, listening to Jay-Z’s Magna Carta opus is akin to being hit in the face with a baseball bat. You can call J-Zee many things, but subtle he most certainly ain’t.
This album sounds like it’s dripping with cash, simply because it is. Sporting one of the biggest marketing campaigns in recent times, including jumping into bed with tech-giants Samsung, Brooklyn’s finest (or not) has churned out a pompous overblown hour of sprawling hip-hop for the masses.
“FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt” features everyone’s favourite bad boy Rick Ross (who doesn’t love a rohypnol lyric), which tells you everything you need to know about the levels to which j-ZEEEEEE will stoop. Nirvana samples (Cobain will be spinning as we speak), bad 80s synths and comparing yourself to Cassius Clay. It’s all just a bit too much.
Other guest appearances from the likes of Justin Timberlake (Holy Grail) and Pharell Williams (Co-Producer) bring a bit of class and “You again? Really?” to the proceedings respectively, but it’s not enough to save this from the realms of banal. Timbaland’s production is a class apart from anyone in this field and, credit where it’s due, it’s just about the only thing going for Magna Carta.
Do yourselves a favour. Don’t buy this. Jee-Zay doesn’t need the money, and you don’t need to hear it. Let’s face it, radio edits will be everywhere for months in any case and I’m pretty sure you could find it on your torrent site of choice, if indeed you were that way inclined. Go find a pledge campaign online and support someone who needs it. As he’s pretty keen on reminding us every ten seconds, Jay Z most certainly doesn’t. His life is just dandy thank you very much. 99 Problems… but the cash flow ain’t one. Oh sorry, that wasn’t your song either was it (Hello Ice-T! How’s things?).
Thanks to eargarbage, that’s another hour of my life I’ll never get back. Jeez…
Until next time kiddies,
Mikeydregs13.
